The Patissier
by Foolish Mortal
Summary: The sign on the door of Watanuki's Cakes and Patisserie was switched to Closed even though there was light coming through the blinds, which was odd for late Saturday morning. DouWata AU


_Disclaimer: I do not own xxxHolic_.

Inspired by **lexi_da_free** 's beautiful fanart and my own stint as an assistant at a bakery. Might do some short stories later.

So I'm going to be in Tokyo for the next three months doing software development research in a university lab, so I'm sorry to say I'm going to be missing the newest Holic coming out in June. (Or rather, I'm probably going to have earlier access to it, but it's going to be in Japanese ^_^)

So before I fly out to Narita, I leave you guys with this parting gift, which had festered as a one-liner for a couple of months and became a full fledged (uncharacteristically light-hearted) story in about one sitting. Old readers, I was able to insert the scenes I wanted, so the transition should be smoother.

* * *

The sign on the door of Watanuki's Cakes and Patisserie was switched to Closed even though there was light coming through the blinds, which was odd for late Saturday morning, but some of the old customers had expected that and were just stopping by to slide their cards under the door. There was already a decent pile accumulating, but it was being ignored.

"Stop stop!" Watanuki shouted as Doumeki's finger went dangerously close to the glossy white icing piped at the base of the cake. "What are you _doing_? You're going to ruin it!"

"Hm," Doumeki agreed and reached for the discarded icing bowl instead.

"Don't you stick your germy hands in there!" Watanuki warned, but it was too late. "Why do I even bother…" But he dumped the used spatula in there too and tried to look angry about it.

Doumeki pulled his sticky icing covered fingers from his mouth with a satisfied pop. "Hmm."

"Hmm? What's 'hmm?' Why can't you talk like a normal person?" Watanuki tried to keep his hands steady as he trimmed the ends of the roses. Doumeki had actually helped cut them the first time, which of course meant Watanuki had to go back through and snip off little invisible imperfections till he deemed them perfect. "What, is it not up to your standards? I'll have you know-"

"-It's almond," Doumeki said, sounding almost surprised. "It's my favourite."

"Well it's for you, isn't it," Watanuki muttered and felt the tips of his ears turning red. "I hope you realise this is the final payment on my debt."

Doumeki just finished off the rest of the icing on the spatula in a casual way that somehow pissed Watanuki off. When Doumeki Boulangerie had opened up beside him, this wasn't exactly what he'd been expecting. The shop had been closed for years and years till people stopped wondering why it was there and just took it for granted until one day the lights had come on. And then the display cases in front had been dusted off, the facing repainted. Watanuki had been secretly excited watching the shop come back to life. A patisserie and a boulangerie side by side was only natural after all, and it would be nice to have some else to talk to who was in the same business.

And then The Jerk had showed up at his shop in some high-end business suit and ordered the strangest pastry Watanuki had ever heard of.

"You want a _what?_" Watanuki had shouted at his retreating back. "But that's not even in season!"

He didn't know who the jerk was, and he didn't care, so he had resolved to put it out of his mind before he had what the woman in the lot on next street called 'a displacement of ki.' He was pretty sure the technical term was 'have a hernia.' He wasn't exactly sure what Yuuko sold in her shop, only that her stupid rabbit always got into the berry tarts, she sent her creepy assistants to pick up alcohol for her during store hours, and the other shop owners didn't know exactly who she was or how long she'd been there.

So he found himself inclined to take her advice, which was depressingly sound and sensible most of the time. Unfortunately, he also had a bit of a competitive streak and wanted to wipe the stupid expression right off The Jerk's face, so the exact pastry down to the tint of the strawberry chocolate ganache was waiting on the counter at exactly three o'clock the next day when The Jerk came back.

But The Jerk's face had been expressionless as he'd mechanically finished the pastry in all of three bites. "Needs more sugar," was all he'd said before leaving.

"You- why, I- _what?_" Watanuki had shouted back intelligently.

The next day, he'd worked up something better to say. Something so viciously clever that The Jerk would be bowing on his hands and knees for the great Watanuki to grace him with the beauty of his pastries.

Watanuki had just finished tying up a box around one of the cakes due for pickup and was humming to himself and thinking about how thorougly he would make The Jerk cry this time when he turned around for the scissors to cut the string, and The Jerk was sitting at the counter.

"Augh!" Watanuki screamed eloquently. "When did _you_ get here?"

"I want gougère with eel and soy sauce," The Jerk replied without so much as a blink.

"You- you want me to do what?" Watanuki shouted. "That's the strangest thing I've ever heard! That would be-" An East meets West kind of thing. Maybe a pastry for the pedestrian Japanese person who wasn't sure about European sweets just yet. "Do you have any idea what kind of _work_!-" In fact, he probably had some leftover choux dough in the freezer and the remaining ingredients from his lunch in his small personal refrigerator. "What makes you think I even have the time to make your stupid-" The next cake order wasn't till the end of the week, and business today had been slow for a Tuesday.

"Hmm," Watanuki finished thoughtfully and disappeared into the back of his shop for the next three hours.

The next day, he had the working beginnings of an eel gougère sitting out on the counter with a napkin that had 'I hope you choke on this' written on it in large angry print.

Maddeningly, The Jerk always showed up at the same time every day for the next couple of weeks with his stupid haircut and his stupid suit and his condescending attitude and his bottomless stomach for pastries. It was like a stray that always came back to whoever kept feeding it. Watanuki should have known it was a bad idea although there was no way he'd admit it to Yuuko and have her laugh in his face.

"Don't you have to be at work?" Watanuki asked him once angrily after the fourth week. "Or did you get fired? I bet you got fired. I bet they couldn't stand seeing your dumb face and kicked you out. Living off cheap ramen and sod- oh my god, you're here to mooch off my free pastries aren't you? Because you probably can't pay for groceries- well it stops here!"

And promptly refuted his own argument by slamming another plate of mille-feuilles in front of him.

* * *

"I won't be coming tomorrow," The Jerk said at the beginning of the next week, and Watanuki thought his prayers had finally been answered.

"Why should I care?" he asked. And then, with reluctant concern. "Why, what's happening?"

"Nothing," Jerk said and kept on eating. Somewhere during the day, he'd convinced Watanuki to go out to dinner with him. Watanuki had thought about refusing but then decided he was happy to impose on The Jerk as much as The Jerk had imposed upon him in the last month. Besides, he looked like he could afford it. Watanuki didn't even want to know the amount of butter and sugar and eggs that had disappeared into the guy's stomach, which he had determined was connected somehow to the void of the universe.

Watanuki tried not to slam down his fork. The restaurant looked moderately expensive and would probably disapprove of that kind of thing. "It's not _nothing_. You wouldn't have brought it up if it were _nothing_. Are you sick, or something? Because you shouldn't be coming in my shop and breathing on my food if you're _sick_-"

"-I have to open up the boulangerie tomorrow," The Jerk interrupted.

And Watanuki found out The Jerk had been the one renovating the bakery next door all along.

"You're Doumeki?" Watanuki repeated disbelievingly. "As in Doumeki Boulangerie?"

"The shop was my grandfather's," The Jer- Doumeki replied and finished his glass of sake. "My company didn't really need me anymore, and it had been one of his last wishes that the shop remain in the family. So I decided to open it back up."

"Do you even know the first thing about baking bread?" Watanuki demanded.

"My grandfather taught me when I was younger," Doumeki replied, but Watanuki didn't believe it. He'd never actually seen Doumeki bake anything- he was always loafing around at the patisserie being underfoot and annoying and making unreasonable pastry requests.

He tried glaring. "It gets really busy, you know. It's not something you can just _do_."

"I have hired help," Doumeki replied. Ah, that explained everything. Watanuki thought about those poor employees working hard at making delicious bread all day, and Doumeki reaping all the benefits in the end. That was just like him, wasn't it-

"Don't worry about me," Doumeki said calmly and shocked Watanuki speechless by reaching out to touch the top of his fingers to the back of Watanuki's hand.

"Who's worried?" Watanuki demanded in a strange strained voice and pulled his hand away, dazed by such gross impropriety.

It was only much later when Watanuki was walking home that he realised he hadn't even thought to shout at him (no, not at such a nice restaurant- he'd been raised much better than that, unlike _Doumeki_) and made up his mind to do so the first chance he got.

So the next day Watanuki decided to come in early to do some more experimenting with the extra boxes of kiwis he'd bought and have the whole day to come up with the most insidious insults imaginable-

"Oy."

"_Waaugh!_" He dropped his keys and his boxes of fruit and stared up at Doumeki with his back against the door. "You! What are you doing here?"

"I open today."

"You actually _work_?"

Doumeki didn't look insulted, just picked up the boxes and inspected them. "I don't really like kiwis."

"Well they're not for you!" Watanuki stuffed the boxes back under his arm. Oh yes, he'd forgotten. "Hey! About yesterday!"

"Yes?"

"I, uh…" he faltered. It was just too embarrassing. "D-Don't do that again! We were in public!"

"So it's okay if we're alone?"

"Ye- _No! _Don't say weird things like that!" He worked the lock open. Well, better to have the last word and shut the door in Doumeki's face. "Have a good opening day, you je-"

"-If I do, will you come with me to dinner again?"

"You _won't_."

"Then you have nothing to worry about."

And Watanuki just wanted to get rid of him. "Fine!"

Watanuki watched the store front windows as he worked, hoping to derive some cheap amusement from Doumeki's opening day. So far only two people had stopped by in the first three hours. Watanuki filled another pastry triumphantly- there was no way he was having dinner with _that_ idiot again.

Three of his regular customers finished their pastries and got up to leave. The usual 'thank you very much, please come again' died on his lips as he watched them turn and go into Doumeki's shop. No, that _couldn't be_. Next he saw a flock of schoolgirls all stream past and then some of the people who owned shops down the street and then businessmen on their lunch break and then, the worst betrayal of all, _Yuuko _fluttered by in her long outdated kimono and had the audacity to wink at him as she went past with her berry-stealing rabbit thing. No, it was too much. He went into the back room to beat his misfortune into the meringues.

Doumeki's shop sold out by the late afternoon, and he walked into the patisserie with a little smirk that only widened as Watanuki noticed him and flushed.

"You cheated! Somehow!"

"I'll pick you up at eight," Doumeki said and shut the door behind him.

Watanuki quickly stopped making bread-based bets with Doumeki very soon, because it became clear business wasn't going away.

And that was the other thing. For some reason, the patisserie customers had liked Doumeki and had always stopped to chat with him while Watanuki did all the work and rang up their orders. So Watanuki's customers quickly became Doumeki's customers too without him even lifting a finger. It wasn't fair. When Watanuki had complained about it to them, they'd laughed and said it was good the new baker and pâtissier were getting along so well. When he'd complained to Yuuko, she'd just smiled secretively and puffed her pipe.

And the idiot's stupid Japanese pastries idea had proved wildly successful, god knew why, and Watanuki always sold out long before the day was done. There were other varieties now, and he had fun experimenting whenever he had the time. Of course, he always made sure to feed a new idea to Doumeki first before he put it out on the shelf. At least if it was disgusting or poisonous or a choking danger, the world would be rid of one less insensitive moron.

Himawari-chan, on the other hand, was a totally different matter. For her he had willingly made all the sweets and savories that he'd forced himself to produce for Doumeki. When Doumeki'd said 'hired help' Watanuki hadn't thought that it meant poor sweet sunny Himawari-chan stuck next to the ovens all day.

"She has a lunch break," Doumeki said reasonably.

"And I bet you feed her crackers and water, you monster!" Watanuki shouted back and Himawari had laughed. Watanuki was instantly charmed.

He fell into the habit of coming over to the boulangerie and eating lunch with them solely for her. If only stupid Doumeki hadn't been hanging around everywhere, showing up at random hours at the patisserie when Watanuki was working late and walking him home after closing time.

"Do you know when Himawari-chan's birthday is?" Watanuki asked one time as they got off the bus near his block. It was getting colder now, and he saw his breath coming out in gusts as they both jogged up the stairs. "I've been planning on making her a cake- she's been working with us for a year now, I think I should. Do you know what kind she likes? Of course you don't- why would you?"

And he kept babbling happily on and on about the kinds of complementary toppings and fillings he would use and the freshest fruit and only the most delicious icing. How he was thinking of getting her the tiny little bird she'd been keeping her eye on in the pet shop across the street. How wonderful it would be to spend a whole day just with Himawari-chan- oh yes, of course Doumeki would be there too, but that wasn't really the point.

"Oy," Doumeki said finally when they reached his door.

Watanuki turned around. "_What_?"

"We're alone." And Doumeki's face was suddenly very close to his. Watanuki noticed Doumeki was wearing a slightly angry expression and tried to lean away, but the door handle was digging into his back.

"Stop messing...with me," Watanuki said uneasily, feeling Doumeki's warm breath against his face.

He thought he heard Doumeki laugh, a short quiet sound low in his throat. "I could say the same."

"_Doumeki_," Watanuki said a little desperately and suddenly there was no room to breathe and Doumeki's hot chapped lips were all over his face and his cold gentle fingers were at the back of his neck.

"Mmgh," Watanuki tried to say, suddenly aware of the cold press of the tip of Doumeki's nose and how his clothes smelled like freshly baked bread, and he wasn't sure whether it was a protest or an acquiescence to whatever this was. He wondered why it had suddenly become so dark and only realised after Doumeki pulled away that it was because he had closed his eyes.

* * *

"Hello again!" Watanuki beamed at the girl sitting at the counter. She always seemed so pale and thin and too solemn for a girl her age. "Back for another macaron?"

"Actually," she said timidly. "I thought I would try one of Watanuki-kun's cakes."

"Of course!" he said brightly and resolved to find her the biggest slice he could find. As he was putting it on the plate, he added a little extra frosting to the edges. "I messed up the piping," he lied and smiled. "I hope you'll forgive me."

She nodded back, and he was pleased as he saw the slight turn at the corner of her mouth. "Thank you."

"You should bring your mother here sometimes. You always talk about her."

"I don't know if she'd want to come with me," the girl admitted, and Watanuki frowned.

"I'm sure she-"

"Oy." And suddenly Doumeki was beside her leaning over the counter. The girl turned to look at him with cool disinterest and then went back to her slice of cake.

Watanuki jumped. "What? My name is not 'oy!'"

"I'm staying late today, don't wait up." Watanuki coloured and tried to indicate the girl with his eyes. Doumeki apparently didn't get the hint. "Are we still having dinner at your place?"

"Yes, okay fine!" Watanuki snapped, completely embarrassed. "Come over and mooch off my food like you always do!"

Doumeki grunted and left. Watanuki went into the back to bring out his un-iced éclairs so he could chat with the girl while he worked.

"You should be nicer to him, Watanuki," Yuuko said as he went to the cooling racks for the éclairs. Watanuki leapt sideways a few feet, and she laughed delightedly. "My my, we are jumpy today, aren't we?"

"Watanuki!" her rabbit-thing squeaked and jumped. Watanuki just stared. Had that animal just…

"You didn't ask him why he would be late," Yuuko said, and suddenly her face was grave and clouded. It was chilling how she could do that.

"Why?" Watanuki said carefully. "Should I have asked?"

"I expect he'll be going to the temple," Yuuko said casually. "After all, it's his grandfather's death anniversary."

And Watanuki winced, because it had never come up, but stupid close-mouthed Doumeki never said anything on his own either. Not without prodding and shouting and threats. "I didn't know," he said softly and put the éclairs back.

"Aren't you going to finish those?" Yuuko asked.

Watanuki shook his head and put the icing back too. Then suddenly, he blinked and glared at her. "Are you here pilfering food again?"

"Who, us?" Yuuko asked innocently, and her rabbit tried to hide the suspicious crumbs around its mouth.

Watanuki went back out and flipped the sign to Closed. "Stay as long as you like," he told the girl gently. "I'll be in the back cleaning."

"You're closing early," she said. "Is something wrong?"

"Maybe," he replied and went to squeeze out the piping backs.

That night when Doumeki let himself into Watanuki's flat, he found the table filled with bowls of noodles and dumplings and steaming hot curry. Watanuki jumped from the couch like it had stung him and shuffled forward.

"I uh, make inarizushi," he said, looking down at his clenched hands. "And the canelés you like." He looked up at Doumeki and bit his lip. "I'm sorry," he said in a rush. "I didn't…I didn't _know- _I shouldn't have been so…you never tell me these things and then I-"

"Shut up," Doumeki said with uncharacteristic emotion and pulled him in close.

And Watanuki felt himself being squeezed tightly and grabbed the front of Doumeki's shirt in his two fists. Because there was his mother and his father and Doumeki's father and grandfather, and it just wasn't _fair._

_

* * *

_The woman that had just come in looked strangely familiar, though Watanuki couldn't really place her. It wasn't anything specific, just shape of her forehead and the faint lines around her mouth made him think he'd seen her somewhere before.

"Welcome!" he said cheerily.

She smiled and pointed to one of the pastries in the glass case. "Could I trouble you for a slice of your lemon mousse cake? I've heard so many good things about it."

"Oh, of course!" He got it out for her and rang it up. The lemon cake was a new addition to the case, but it had quickly become very popular in the shop.

The doorbell jingled, and Kohane came in for her shift. "Good afternoon, Watanuki-kun."

He beamed. "Good afternoon, Kohane-chan! I thought we would start working with chocolate today since you did so well with caramel yesterday."

She smiled and ducked her head modestly and went in the back to tie on her apron. "Alright."

Watanuki caught the woman looking at him thoughtfully. "So you're Watanuki Kimihiro. I've heard a lot of good things about you too."

Watanuki pinked. "O-Oh, thank you very much."

"Watanuki-kun?" Kohane's voice came from the back, and so he had to excuse himself and show her how to check the temperature every five minutes (exactly five minutes, even though people called him obsessive and a perfectionist. Yes, and yes, and their chocolate never turned out half so good) and keep the chocolate moving properly using both hands.

Watanuki saw Doumeki come in for his lunch break and sit down next to the woman. "That should be enough," he told Kohane and poured the chocolate into the molds he would be using for the little chocolate pendants on top of the mille-feuilles.

"Back for free pastries again?" he asked Doumeki as he carried the remaining bowl of chocolate to the front to see if it would suit for pain au chocolat fillings.

"My mother wanted to see me, so I thought I'd introduce you," Doumeki said and oh_ no, _that's why she _looked so familiar_.

The woman laughed softly. "All my friends had told me to visit this patisserie. I hadn't known it was the one next to Shizuka's shop." She put her fork into the lemon mousse cake. "Shizuka, have you eaten this? It's delicious."

"Thank you very much!" Watanuki said nervously, because oh god, this was Doumeki's _mother _and Doumeki, the bastard, should have _warned_ him.

She chewed on the cake thoughtfully and put her fork down. "We should have you make Shizuka's wedding cake," she said.

What? _What was that?_ "You're getting _married_?" Watanuki demanded hollowly and felt suddenly and terribly numb. It was some kind of joke. Doumeki…Doumeki _couldn't_ be-

Doumeki darted a glance at his mother. "It was something I had been considering."

Watanuki opened his mouth and couldn't make a sound. "Oh."

"Watanuki-kun!" Kohane said urgently, and he felt something warm and sticky oozing down his apron.

"Augh." He pulled the bowl away and looked at the huge spreading mess of chocolate on the front of his apron. "E-excuse me."

"_Watanuki_," Doumeki said, but Watanuki just fled into the back kitchen. He felt Doumeki follow him, a constant presence at his back.

"I was going to tell you-" Doumeki started, but Watanuki just shook his head.

"Go away," he said quietly. "Just go away."

"Watanuki, _listen_-"

"No!" he shouted and didn't care who heard him. It was only after he'd slammed the back door shut in Doumeki's face and run halfway home that he realised his face was wet, and his apron was still smeared with chocolate.

* * *

"-What are the roses for?" Doumeki asked uncomfortably close to his ear, and Watanuki nearly cut off his own finger in fright.

"D-don't…don't _do_ that!" he said, clamping a hand over his heart. "I'm putting them on your cake!"

"You're putting flowers on my wedding cake," Doumeki said flatly.

Watanuki threatened him with a handful of roses. "Himawari-chan thought they would look nice!"

"Hn," Doumeki said, unconvinced.

"Are you questioning Himawari-chan's impeccable tastes?" Watanuki felt it necessary to be insulted on Himawari-chan's behalf.

"I was just wondering if you needed the stepladder," Doumeki said casually and watched as Watanuki did his strange angry dance.

"_What are you talking about_?"

"If you wanted, I could do the top tiers."

"_You're not so tall yourself there, Bread Boy_!"

And then there was the quiet shh-shh sound of another envelope sliding under the door, and Watanuki stopped mid-shout, turned to it, and actually smiled a little. "Another one," he said softly and then caught Doumeki watching him. "What?"

Doumeki shook his head. "Nothing." And then, "Kunogi's closing up next door. I'm heading out too."

"Okay."

A pause. "Are you coming?"

He waved the scissors. "The cake isn't done yet! I'll take the bus home."

"You're going to carry that on the bus."

"Of course not! I'll have Ame-warashi come pick it up after her shift."

"She's not going to like that."

"Yeah well, neither do I." Another pause. "Was there something else you wanted?"

Doumeki shrugged and reached out to pull the crooked side of Watanuki's collar. "Make sure you come."

Watanuki slapped his hand away. "I'm not going to ditch it! What kind of a person do you thi-" He saw a corner of Doumeki's mouth turn up and felt himself smiling back. "Idiot. Get out of here."

Doumeki nodded but still lingered at the door. "Do you want me to leave the car here?"

Watanuki made a distracted noise, focused on making sure the roses lined up perfectly. "No, I'll catch up."

"O-kay." The door shut with a small tinkling of a bell.

Watanuki rolled his eyes and went back to arranging his roses in almost perfect silence. For a moment it felt like years and years ago again when he'd been alone at this end of the street. He hadn't had many moments alone since Doumeki Boulangerie had opened next door.

There were a row of pegs hanging next to the door now, and and apron with Kohane-chan's name and 'Junior Pastry Chef' scribbled in black permanent marker below. She and…what was the rabbit's name- Mokona? had become fast friends and at the very least, she stopped him from eating _all_ the berry tarts. Yuuko was another story- that woman moved like a cat and sometimes it took them till inventory time to figure out she'd cleaned them out. She called it payment for advice given whereas Watanuki still preferred to call it petty theft.

And there next to the cooling racks when Doumeki'd given him a piece of bread to try and Watanuki had almost cracked his teeth on it and spat out something hard and metallic into his hand. To be fair, that had been Himawari's idea, but he'd still given Doumeki an earful for going along with it and almost shattering his molars.

Watanuki turned back and began laying the flowers out quickly. It was almost noon now, and after he got home there'd be no time for anything. There were last minute things to settle, and guests would be over so he would have to clean again, and he still smelled like eggs and fondant, and he was pretty sure he had flour in his hair. He would have to hurry.

After all, it would not do to be late to his own wedding.


End file.
